Zombie Seals are Coming.

It's getting closer every day, folks. No country has a defense against it, no person is invulnerable, no one knows the day or the hour, but it is coming, like a thief in the night. That's right... the Zombie Apocalypse. Every day I take a few minutes to prepare, as I rip the day's page of my Zombie Survival Calendar. It is a wonderful reminder to remain ever vigilant, and brush up on a few survival tips. Meanwhile, as I await the inevitable doomsday that the undead will bring, I continue in my goal. After all, we must have something to keep us moving forward in these times.

I met January's quota of at least 8.5 books, so the first month of my voyage went swimmingly. A week's worth of snow days (yay, no teaching!) did help quite a bit in this department, though I did spent much of my flu-ridden, snowbound days watching Star Trek, rather than spending every waking (and sniffling) hour buried in the written word. We all have our weaknesses.

One of the books I devoured (yes, I could not put it down) was James Dashner's "The Maze Runner".

I read this one for the District 13 book club I am a member of. Loved it. When I first found out that the "Maze Runner" had been voted as January's selection, I was disappointed. I had never heard of it, and I got it mixed up with the "Kite Runner". All I could remember hearing about it (the 'Kite Runner') was "touching, compelling, heartwarming, a real emotional journey, blah-di-blah-blah YUCK". Who. Gives. A. Damn. Heartwarming is not up my alley when it comes to reading material. Unless it is about a dog. But a TALKING dog. Because if the dog does not talk, it will inevitably die at the end. This was confirmed today at the book club meeting. I don't fancy reading about dead dogs. So, to recap: no heartwarming crap, no dead dogs. Unicorns: yes. Minotaurs: HELLZ yes. Dead Dogs: NO. Though, undead dogs: yes. Zombie dogs are very exciting.

Anyways, "Maze Runner". IT was awesome. No kites, no heartwarming nonsense, just pure adventure and post-apocalyptic fun. It was a good contrast to "Lord of the Flies", which we read several months ago for District 13. Where "Lord of the Flies" showed a chaotic, violent, anarchist side of male adolescent nature, this book shows a well-ordered, self-regulated group of boys united by the goal of survival and escape. Plot: boy wakes up in an elevator. No memories, no knowledge of where he is. He is transported to the center of a maze, where he finds more boys who arrived in the very same fashion as he, over the previous two years. Why are they there? Can they solve the maze? Why do the doors lock every night, and why do those who get locked out never return? AMAZING. There are two more books in the series, and one has already been released. I will be reading that one FO' SHIZ. Ya, thats right. I'm pretty gangsta like that.

I also read "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" by Stieg Larson.

While this book started off slow for the first four chapters, it turned out to be amazing. The first four chapters are REALLY slow though. REALLY. Really. But after that, it zooms off. Just hang on for the first few. The plot was fantastic, the characters were well developed, and the mystery was titillating (tee hee). It does have some pretty gruesome and rough scenes, so it is definitely not for the faint of heart. But c'mon, most of the grandmothers I know love it, so it's nothing too bad. Let's just say I will not recommend it to the high schoolers in my classes in case I get in trouble for forwarding explicit material, but for any consenting adult, you have my thumbs up. The swedish version of the movie is excellent, I highly recommend it. This too is part of a trilogy, and I already have book two on my kindle.

"Feed" by M.T. Anderson was Monday's selection.

It was a pretty quick read, and is EXTREMELY culturally relevant in our present moment. No, it does not talk about the impending Zombie apocalypse, but it does deal with the saturation of technology that we are facing. It shows a future world where everyone who is anyone is connected to the internet within their very brains. Every second of every day, you are hooked into the Feed, chatting with friends, shopping, getting news, learning the trend of the second, and being slammed with advertisements. Imagine a bio-implant of Facebook, and you've got the right idea. It seems so likely, and so close to us now. The narrator's voice was the weak point. In an attempt to capture a true speaking-type voice for the storyteller, the writer sacrificed fluidity, and the book seemed at times clunky, choppy, and forced, hard to immerse yourself in.

In order to keep ourselves on our toes, Gunnar and I often discuss zombie hypotheticals. This weeks discussion question: You, a child, and a baby seal are in a deserted and looted grocery store. All three of you are reaching toward the last can of food (beans, if you were wondering). You have your trusty wooden club in hand. How do you proceed? My answer: Club the child, grab the beans, and the seal pup, and raise the seal as your own.

                                           Who could resist such a face?

The seal would be trained to fight the Undead seals that may escape from the zoo. After all, how can we be sure that the virus will not spread to animals as well?

Zombie seals are coming. You'd better be ready.