Cetology (or: That's What She Said)

So, I have some catching up to do: somewhere in the upcoming weeks, I need to fit in two extra books, due to a Mad Men dvd binge last week. Wonderful show, by the way. Christina Hendricks is definitely my straight lady crush.

This week, I read 3.5 books. The half book will not be discussed in length, but will be given honorable mention (which we all know is about as meaningful as a new law to protect dodo birds; I heartily scoff at honorable mentions. Scoff, scoff). Anyways, on with the show.

The first book I read is "Girl in the Arena"by Lisa Haines. This book was on a list of nominated possibilities for the District 13 book club I'm in, and even though it did not get elected for this month's reading, it looked so interesting that I had to read it. Though the first chapters promised me an intense narrative full of blood and vengeance, it did not really follow through. Though it was well written, the story just took too long to get into full thrust. I was left a little wanting (that's what she said). The commentary it offered was admirable, but a little less subtle than the book I felt it was trying to follow: The Hunger Games. Fans of Collin's subtly but powerfully wrought political message will feel like the author doesn't trust us enough to 'get it'. Started off promising, but in the end, it didn't quite deliver (that's what she said).

The second book I read was "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society". The title conceals a goo story, let me assure you. It tells the story of a group of people who lived through the German Occupation of the England's Channel Islands. Apparently there are islands in the English Channel, and apparently people lived on them. People may still live there today. No one knows for certain, but science is looking for the answer. I had no clue about these islands thanks to a deplorable geography education. My class was five kids left mostly alone and unsupervised. When the 'teacher' did come in, it was only to lecture us on the evils of public school, and inform us that if we left the sanctum of our private school, we would become either drug addicts or end up pregnant. Perhaps both. So, I was shocked to discover land masses in the Channel. Shocked.

The narration is told through letters, and while I usually don't like epistolary novels, but this one flowed and grabbed me right away. It is a great way to learn about the life of the islanders during the war, and the hardships suffered. The book contains details of the English civilian life during the war, which was very different than the lives of Americans. It was charming and smart, containing both information and entertainment. It's easy to get through, very accessible and enjoyable.

The third book I read was Clive Barker's "The Thief of Always". I read this book ages ago, when I was in junior high, and took this opportunity to re-read it. It was as amazing as I remembered. It's very fable-like, written in a child's voice, though it is not at all a children's book. The tale is haunting and beautiful. Fans of Ray Bradbury's "Something Wicked This Way Comes" will love this book. Barker added his own wonderfully scary drawings to the text, and I wish I had a print of every single one of them. I will share my favorite below:

Fantastic, right?

Today, on our way to Flying Star, we saw this crazy guy riding his black bike at night, dressed all in black, with no lights. He was practically invisible. A lovely conversation ensued:

Gunnar: "Look at that guy. He is definitely on his way to commit a crime. Just look at him. Right? He looks shady.

Me: "I was thinking more like he's gonna get hit by a car, dressed like that.

Gunnar: "Well, ya, but he's still definitely gonna commit a crime.

Me: "Maybe he'll commit a crime and get hit riding away.

Gunnar: "He'll get hit right after committing the crime. Then all the money he stole will be everywhere, flying away down the street.

Me: " The dollar bills will have bloodstains on them.

Gunnar: "It will be very romantic".


Honorable mention: I am halfway through "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" on my new Kindle. I was one of those avowed anti e-reader people, until I tried one, and realized that now on trips I could have thousands of books with me on just one device. Plus I literally have no more shelf space for books. Does this stop me from buying new books? Nope. I just find place to stick the new ones (that's what she said).

The First Week Aboard the Pequod

So, three books down for the New Year thus far, and it's still smooth sailing. No surprise there, however, considering that as I have been off both work and school, the only thing to truly contend with reading time is Mad Men on dvd. Oh, the struggles (I did get through season one of Mad Men, by the way. Fantastic. Usually if a show doesn't have vampires, wizards, or aliens, I'm not interested. This show, however lacking in the supernatural it may be, is nonetheless excellent).

The first book I harpooned was "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies". The undead and classical literature: what better combination could there be? This book took the original text of Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice" and mixed in a delightful zombie apocalypse. Elizabeth no longer simply sharp-witted, for now she wields a katana as sharp as her tongue. She is highly skilled in zombie-slaying, as is Mr. Darcy (naturally). This book was tremendously funny. If you've always wanted to read Jane Austen but find yourself unable to immerse yourself in the subtleties of 19th century class-humor, this is a great way to read the book and still be entertained (though, for the record, the original is still my favorite of the two). It's a great way for you boys to enjoy it, however. You'll get the benefit of knowing the basic points, and some of the finer points, of Jane Austen (a good way to impress the ladies) but get a healthy dose of blood and gore.

The second whale that I landed was "Perfume: The Story of a Murderer". This book was dark, macabre, and elegant. It also had touches of humor, and was laced with magical realism. And, as usual, the book was better than the movie. You're left with less of a "What the hell was that ending?!' feeling, because the book sets it up a whole lot better. Not for those who like happy stories. It is fully dark,and pretty disturbing. Of course, these attributes only recommended it further to my twisted tastes. The descriptions were so  luscious, and you feel as if you could smell all the scents it lingers on. Very 'Poe' in its story. I thought it was wonderful, engaging, and was crafted delicately and beautifully.

The third whale to be pulled up onto my deck (that sounds a bit PG-13, doesn't it?) was "Witch and Wizard". The book was a graduation gift from a friend (Hi, Rebecca! Shout out. Raise the roof, and all those nineties phrases) I love YA literature (guess that's good, seeing as I'm gonna be teaching high school english), and this was a great example of why.  It was so much fun, I absolutely could not put it down, and I can't wait to read the second one. It was also a nice light break from the darkness of "Perfume". It is a great mix of two of my favorite genres: Dystopian literature and Fantasy. The characters are well rendered, and the story wonderful. It switches between the voice of the two main characters, a brother and sister named Whit and Wisty, who find themselves in possession of powers they never dreamed of. It moves very smoothly between both points of view, and weaves a world that is tangible and frightening.

Next on the list, I have "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo", and "The Bleak House". I have yet to decided on the third. Bring on the novels! Plus, a healthy dose of red wine and coffee (at the appropriate times of day, of course. Wine with breakfast and coffee only after 10 pm). For the antioxidants, wink wink.

By the way, does anybody know why there seems to be a sharply askew orange-to-blue ratio in a bag of Pixy Stix? Far too few blue. This has long been weighing on my mind. I wish there were a way to buy a bag of only blue and purple. Does anybody really even like the orange ones? Shame on you if you do, its almost as bad as preferring oatmeal raisin to chocolate chip. Sick bastards.